The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Webster Hall

Suddenly, it's September, summer ends and autumn begins here in New York City.

It was difficult moving away from California, with memories and friends behind left me feeling rather empty. Slowly yet ever steadily, I started looking for pieces of myself in the nooks and crannies of life, building back afresh from echoes of the mirage of days past.

This includes... getting back into film photography! Sometimes the debilitating waves of sadness prevented me from doing what I loved most, but there is no excuse to falling back in love with life. I thought deeply about what a hobby meant to me. I think the anonymity of the photographer, always behind and not in front of the lens, gave me a sense of refuge and freedom so rarely found in the modern age. And when I saw that BJM was coming to NYC to perform live at Webster Hall, I bought a ticket for myself immediately.

The Brian Jonestown Massacre:

This has got to be one of my favorite bands as of late. Led by an eccentric Anton Newcombe, the rock band formed in the 90s in San Francisco (!!!). During a low moment this year when I felt purely nostalgic, their song Anemone came on randomly, and I fell in love ever since. Their experimental nature and atmospheric tunes were enchanting in the best way, and I understood Anthony Bourdain's own obsession with this song and the band.

"Anemone" was penned in that freewheeling spirit. At the time, Keagle was a new recruit to BJM, and Newcombe suggested she and band member Dawn Thomas work on music together. They huddled in Newcombe’s San Francisco apartment and, guided by the rock star, started crafting the song. “[We] wrote the lyrics in the back of a Holy Bible with a green crayon, because that’s all we had,” Keagle said in the BJM biography Keep Music Evil.  "And then we recorded it on a little four-track, and that was that song." ... "Drenched in opiates and regret, i heard this song once and became besotted by it. it sounds like lost love, past lives, unforgiven mistakes and transgressions." - Bourdain

Tony would later fly to Berlin to meet Anton for a dinner party, as featured in his show Parts Unknown. Kindred spirits, they shared a powerful bond until Tony's passing.

Webster Hall, Manhattan:

This is a historic venue located in East Village. It opened originally in 1886 as a "hall for hire" for any type of events. While it was used for high society (the uppertens) gatherings on many occasions, the venue earned its reputation mainly for hosting leftist, socialist, anarchist and labor union activities in its early days. When the Prohibition Era began, it was rumored the hall was owned by Al Capone at some point. The history makes a perfect setting for the renegade BJM to perform.

Low Light Concert Photography:

This was a really, really challenging event to photograph, given I have not shot much in months, especially not in these low light conditions. The battery in my camera gave out for the most part, and so I had no light meter to go by. I pretty much guesstimated camera settings for two different types of film I used - Kodak Portra 800 (which went through TSA and I fully expected it to be somewhat damaged) and Kodak Tmax P3200 (which I used at ISO 1600, and dev'd at 3200, naturally pushed by one stop). With my manual 85mm f/1.2 portrait lens, I squeezed to the front, and changed film twice mid-concert.

Besides having a steady hand, and doing my best to adjust focus with (sometimes rapidly) moving subjects, I found that with my lens wide open at f/1.4 - f/2.8, ISO 800 -1600, shutter speed 1/125s - 1/250s, the results came out pretty much phenomenal. And it would seem that TSA scanners did NOT harm my roll of Portra 800!

The opening band, CAST, looked excellent as well.

And of course, gotta give credit to the venue's workers & disco ball.

Afterthoughts:

BJM just hit different in person. The psychedelic rock just sent chills down my spine, and it felt amazing to be at the front blasted by the speakers on stage. They used so many different instruments, at one point I saw a guy in the back playing the didgeridoo. When Anton was taking a break between songs, someone in the crowd started shouting requests, he said "I don't take fucking requests, stop barking orders at me". I yelled "Pish!", which turned out to be the next song he played, lol. Intuition, I guess.

How lucky are we, am I, to exist on this pale blue dot, listening to music I love, surrounded by people I call home. It's the little things, always.

Sources:

• The Poignant Story Behind Anthony Bourdain's Favorite Song: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2021/07/anthony-bourdain-favorite-song-roadrunner-doc?srsltid=AfmBOopG7y9AXckVSiYWQOhDagAYkR8oyjOeqZ5rH3AyUCKZyUlN7ANB

• Wikipedia